🌎 The geography of dating
We rarely see the words “geography” and “dating” in the same sentence. But, I have recently been contemplating how the psychology of place affects our search for love.
For many people, partnership might seem out of reach until they find themselves in the “right” location.
They instinctively need to feel secure in a home base before building a life with a partner.
For example, one of my clients recently moved back to her home country of Colombia after spending a few years in the SF Bay Area. During that time, she went on countless dates, longing for partnership, but it was nowhere to be found.
When I saw her on Zoom this past week, she looked completely different. She seemed more grounded, happy, and at ease than I had seen her before!
When I asked how her new location affected her relationship to dating, she said, “I feel ready for a relationship now.” I could feel the truth of that statement in my gut. The shift was evident.
In our coaching sessions, we had spent time exploring the biographical, psychological, and emotional sources of her blocks to love. That internal work was rich and healing—it brought her to a more peaceful place within herself. But, something was still missing: she was left with a felt sense that partnership was inaccessible.
As it turns out, her geographical location was the missing piece of the puzzle! Now, there is no question in either of our minds that she is exactly where she needs to be to find a partner.
***
For some folks, taking a trip to a new place is the thing that can unlock life-changing connections that lead to love.
Another one of my clients recently saw his love life dramatically change while traveling for a holiday. He had been stuck in a “dating rut” in New York City for 2 years, being active on dating apps but not finding mutual interest with anyone.
Our coaching work had been transformative—we explored the inner working of his mind and desires, practiced mindful communication skills, and greatly improved his self-relationship.
But, the floodgates of his heart did not open until he travelled to Florida for a spontaneous vacation, and met an amazing woman in a cafe. Their connection was immediate: they spent the better part of two weeks together! A truly extraordinary meeting.
They eventually had to go home, but they are currently exploring the possibility of closing the distance gap and creating a romantic partnership in the same city. Whatever they decide to do next (I’m as eager to find out as you are!), this experience has shown him that he is very capable of deep love and connection—something he had begun to doubt.
As you can see, the power of geography is not to be ignored when it comes to love. Deep inner work is essential, but so is listening to our intuition about going places.
I have many more stories of relationships being formed and lives being changed because someone dared to jump on a plane (or changed their swiping location on Hinge).
Consider these prompts for contemplation & reflection:
How does geography intersect with YOUR love life?
What is your intuition telling you about where you should live? About upcoming travels?
Might location be a bottleneck in your relationship journey? If so, what might be a doable step in creating progress or movement?
I look forward to help you navigate these questions so you can create an absolutely magical love life!
Love,
Marie xo
